Monday's Funnies w/ Brock & Lily

After staring at himself in the bathroom mirror for TOO long - Jim's son...)
Brock: Mom! I have chunky ears!
Me: What!?
Brock: I have CHUNKY EARS! (he turns & shows me...)
Brock: I am not sure ... am I one of Santa's Elves?!


Then, for FHE we had a pizza party tonight & the kids & I watched about 2 hours straight of our favorite TV show - Ghost Whisperer... What better way to help us feel the HOLY Ghost?! :)
One was a little freaky, so I asked Lily - "Are you okay watching this?"
Lily: I LOVE this!
Me: Love what?
Lily: Fweaky shows like this! I LOVE them!
Me: Why do you love scary stuff? (Her favorite movie since she was 2: The Mummy)
Lily: Because I am a Halloween baby!
Great............. I've got to keep my eyes on this one!

It Didn't Take Nancy Drew To Figure This One Out!

EXHIBIT 1: Old, shriveled pumpkin

EXHIBIT 2: Pumpkin puree & seeds splattered into oblivion

EXHIBIT 3: Pumpkin remnants in nearby bushes

EXHIBIT 4: Pumpkin covered child - from head to toe

THE VERDICT? : Not sure, still looking for more clues.... move to disMESS! :)

What Good Little Children!

Me: Lily & Brock - What in the world are you doing?

Lily: Mommy, we made a cage for us so that we won't make any messes today!

Brock: And I brought candy so we won't starve!

Me: Awesome! Carry-On! :)

Faux Snow Day

Well, you know those moments of motherhood when you walk in on something that is SO infuriating & a crazy-child-psycho-snap-in-judgement moment - you don't even THINK about grabbing the camera? Then, you relive it as you share the moment of drama with someone else, the first thing they ask you is, "Did you take a picture?!" It is then that you realize that you missed a major memory in the making! Well... this was THAT moment...

Brock & Lily had been quiet for WAY too long... So, I went upstairs to the only bedroom that had the door closed (NEVER a good sign).... I hear crazy, high pitched giggling (also RARELY a good sign).... I fling the door open to see my two sweet children having a self-proclaimed SNOW DAY - INSIDE my house!

Erika's lap desk had a small hole in the bottom padding & was leaking out those evil, static filled white, foamish beads.... so the two mischief makers saw an opportunity & jumped on it (literally). Filling Lily & Erika's bedroom w/ flying, static filled "snow"! They 'helped' the hole get bigger, dumped the entire 6.5 tons (thereabout) of fake snow on the floor & were covering toys in the fake snow - covering each other in the fake snow - tossing it up, so it 'snows' on them.... All while wearing snow hats & mittens!

This is what my whole house vac looked like when I was HALF way through.... then, I had to vacuum the garage & outside around the trash cans where I dumped it. I am sure the neighbors were thinking I was a major OCD clean freak. It was such a mess!

When I walked back in the house from vacuuming the outside of my property & more mad than a wet hen.... this is what I saw hung on the bannister & it actually made me chuckle:

Needless to say, that was about a month ago.... I am STILL vaccuuming up those evil little beads! This time, wishing I would have just grabbed the camera first......

Make-up Lessons w/ Lily Kate

LESSON 1: Blue eyeshadow looks good on: NO ONE - EVER, really.

LESSON 2: The improper use of eyeliner & how the wrong contour colors can actually make your eyes look smaller.... :)

Similar in contrast to the TV addage: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas....

What happens on the playground, goes to the hospital... small orbital fracture & a concussion.

Alison, Erica & Kris RULE the Mommy Heiroglyphics!

Lily's phonetic goodness was:

Can I have a cinnamon roll please?

Here's to the mommies with the mostest skills! Love you guys!

Mommy Hieroglyphics Challenge

So, I was on a conference call with Jim & Alyssa & a volleyball scout, when Lily kept coming up to our glass office doors & would immediately get waved away by the 3 of us. Finally, she came up with the following note, carefully written on a napkin - see if you can figure it out!
(This is like trying to figure out personalized license plates on the freeway - but more skillful!)

KEn I HAF A

SSiNM RL

PLEES

Got any good guesses? I'll solve the phonetic hieroglyph for you shortly....

Ohhhh! The suspense!

It is definitely easier to read your own child's phonetic goodness than someone else's!
God Bless the Kindergarten teachers of America! :)

My Baby Has Started Preschool!

Brock, The Prince, as he is widely known in these parts.... has started Preschool! I KNOW!!!

I actually (mothers of boys will chuckle at this...) DO miss him! :) He is thriving & learning & listens like no other. That kid will be schooling me (in more than one way) soon!

I Don't Wanna Go To School!

And on the school bus theme today.... another little 'diddy':
Lily woke up this morning already crying, "I don't wanna go to school!" All hour & ten minutes together before my precious baby heads to school was filled with more, "I don't wanna go to school!"

C'mon! You are only in KINDERGARTEN darling! Lot's of time to decide that school is lame & boring! You don't have to be an overachiever & figure this out the second week into your school experience! You have 13 years to figure that out - be like your sisters! Be SLOW to figure that out! Okay... I realize that could be taken the wrong way....

So, needless to say, I decided to put her on the school bus today (she is the last stop before school - less than 5 minutes on the bus) in the hopes that she would enjoy her little friends & arrive at school ready to BE at school. So, instead of walking to the bus stop - we drove the car & sat & played in the car while we waited for the bus.
Lily giggled - good sign. Lily laughed - good sign! Lily made jokes - GOOD sign!! Success?
OF COURSE NOT!!!!!
The bus pulls up, opens the door - Lily starts to try to jump back into the car & as she is trying to scale the door, I grab her by the backpack & spin her around - she tries to scale my legs w/ her Spiderwoman finesse & gets a death grip on my clothing as I spin her back around & CARRY her to the waiting bus - with my clothes twisted tightly around my torso - full of huge, gaping mouths & stunned eyes of young children. The Bus Driver just smiling & chuckling as I take huge steps to make the distance to the bus's door shorter & less painful (for me - in Lily's death grip)! I literally PEEL her off of my clothing, nearly hurl her up to the 3rd step (there are only 4!) of the bus... as I recoil my arms, her long, gangly tentacles reach back out & snag my arms & neck! I again, peel her off & set her on the TOP step of the bus, still pushing & shoving her in - as I try to lovingly & CALMLY say, "I love you, Lily! Have a great day!" Finally, I pull my arms out quickly & the bus driver slams the door to keep his victim safely inside....
I wave stoically as I retreat to my car - in front of a line-up of school buses, cars & work trucks all watching & enjoying this loving mother ship her tiny kid off to boarding school (or so it felt!)! I round the back of my car, enter the driver's door & BURST into tears as I watch the school bus pull away. I hope her day will be better than mine! Mother-guilt is like cancer to the soul!

Special Ed at It's Finest!

Saw this tricked-out, glorious sight in heavy traffic on the way to the temple... for my family of short bus riders - this ranks as one of the top ten, most highly coveted items on the earth!

FOOMPH!!!

So, this is always an interesting sound to hear.... FOOMPH!

I was working in the kitchen - I hear multiple "THUDS" & then a crazy LOUD "FOOMPH"! I thought for sure that someone fell to their death on the stairs! I ran around the corner as quickly as I could - only to find.....

My 3 year old son, Brock, grinning ear to ear & clutching both hands tightly to the sides of the LID of the girls' toybox - which he successfully RODE all the way down our flight of stairs! In my shock & horror, all that came out of my mouth (to my teenager's entertainment) was, "ARE YOU ON DRUGS OR SOMETHING???!!!" Brock just looked at me w/ humongous eyes full of thrill & excitement, a huge smile from ear to ear & zero processing of what was coming out of my mouth at multiple decibels! I'm sure he was stuck revelling in his 'moment'...

I'm glad he lived through his lack of judgement... now, I may have to kill him! :)
Sidenote: Notice his "Safety Gobbles (goggles)" hanging on the bannister? :)

Mr. Fancy Pants at Work

Yep -- there is my hot husband on the top left, in a gray suit (dark hair). He is seated across from the 1st Prime Minister of Belarus & his cabinet for a meeting. Jim was treated like royalty there & LOVED the beauty of the country, the warmth of the people & was intrigued at how much he was "watched & tracked" by the government... kind of spooky & unsettling.

A quick snippet of his trip: Held a press conference, was on TV, met & worked w/ the 1st Prime Minister & toured several government facilities & recieved high level tours, was paraded through a village w/ the Governor in a carriage, was "tracked down" on his Liason's cell phone by the past US Ambassador to Belarus w/ a proposal, was greeted w/ traditionally dressed people, a BAND (seriously!) & speech after speech by the country's leadership. Was offered "a home & lots of land" for our 5 kids if he would move there to help lead up the country's economic make-over efforts, & to top it off: had his Visa stolen!

I have lived vicariously though his amazing adventures all week long! Most of his experiences have been SO surreal. I am so proud of him & for the man he is & the great example he is to all whom he meets. I am just SO glad he is coming home... we have missed him terribly.

Brock's Translation Service

GREEFEY: guh-ree-fee

1. Weird & crazy
2. Weird & funny men with beards

"Mom! Look at that GREEFEY guy! He is cweepy! (creepy)"

Feel free to use this new word until we have it copyrighted & added to Webster's big book of other nonsensical words.

Not Quite The Reactions I Expected!

So... Today was an absolutely gorgeous, sunny day - I'm driving down Main Street with Alyssa, Brock & Lily. I see this adorable Senior Citizen dressed in full clown garb, driving her car. So, as any good mother would do - I chase her in a high speed pursuit, so that my toddlers can see how cute she is! What happened next, was NOT the reactions that I expected.....

Brock & Lily start laughing hysterically -- THIS I expected.... Then:

Lily: Mom! Clowns creep me out! They scare the CWAP (crap) out of me!

Brock: Yeah! Clowns are MEAN! And if a clown be's mean to me - I'll kick it in the belly!

Lily: Clowns make me have bad dreams! They are FREAKY creatures!

Brock: Yeah! Clowns are DAMN creatures! (WHAT?!!!!)

***** SILENCE in the car *****

Mom: Ummm.... Brock? We DON'T say that word!!!!!

Alyssa: (snickering LOUDLY under hands which are over her face....)

Ahhhhh....... another nice drive in the beautiful sunshine............ whatever.

NEVER Mess With The Wee, Little People!

Every year my kids build a contraption to trap a poor, unsuspecting Leprechaun. Every year, they fail to catch the wee, little, red haired, wily tempered, anger-management-challenged midget! And, every year they get their well-deserved comeuppance, as well!


This year was Lily's turn to be the architect & construction foreman. She did a fantastic job - even down to the most minute details of trickery: a gold treasure box full of shiny tin foil, a "super soft bed" of napkins, borrowed furniture (thanks Barbie & Ken), a miniature, shiny, silver Stanley Cup (thanks, Ken) & a "Picture of the Leprechaun's Ex-Girlfriend..." (thanks, Barbie) - I'll tell you: Every last detail! THEN, Brock comes running downstairs "Lily! He can use my Jeep & Trailer, too!" Lily thought it was a novel idea & added a tag of ownership for the wee, wily one (utilizing her incredible phonetic spelling!).



I was SO impressed & told Lily how proud I was of her for providing the Leprechaun with an escape vehicle. She said, "NO MOM! It is a trailer like dad's with a bed, sink & cooker! He'll want it & then, I'll catch him, tie him up & drive him around inside of it!" Such a brutal spirit inside such a beautiful Princess!


Here is the ingenius plan & how it unfolded... and the sneaky little Leprechaun STOLE the trophy & treasure chest & attempted to get away in the vehicle - before escaping down the vent! Better luck next year my little abductors:


Lily: "Dang it! I'll have to make a better trap next year! AND, Erika had better wake me up!"

It's SNOT You, It's Me....

Today, Brynne tells me on the way home from school: Mom, EVERYONE is sick at school! (I had to take her some cold med's to make it thru the day, as well)

Mom: Really?

Brynne: So, this boy in 6th grade - his nose wouldn't stop whistling when he was breathing! It was SO gross! So, I said, "Hey, Austin - your nose is so musical, I am going to call you Adam & the Nose Whistlers!" Then, he kept making it whistle even more - so, I said, "Austin! Is that a sampling from your band's first single, "It's SNOT You, It's Me"?!"

I was CRYIN'! This kid.... she makes me cry with laughter! The boy thought she was hilarious - I'm just glad he didn't pee his pantaloons... what would that single have been called?

Geography vs. Lily

Lily: Mom, do we have to fly to Chicago to see the Martin's?
Mom: Nope - we are driving.
Lily: Oh good! Because I don't like airplanes & I am afriad of flying! Can we drive to Hawaii soon?
Mom: Nope - it is a bunch of islands in the middle of the ocean. You can't drive to it.
Lily: OH NO!!! What if Hawaii tips?!
Mom: Tips - as in tips over?
Lily: Yes! What if it tips?!!!
Mom: It won't tip over, Lily - it will feel as solid as Colorado.
Lily: But, what if it comes un-hitched & floats away!!???!!!
Mom: I promise you they will find it - it will bump into California or Japan....

THAT is why I should never homeschool again...

Lily Kate.....

This kid listens when you don't think she is! Except for when you are talking directly to her - like any kid.
She just ran in to the office where I am filing & very dramatically held out her babydoll saying, "Mommy! My baby has a bladder infection! She needs to go to the Doctor to get her medicine & the Doctor wants to check her potty! I know it is bad!"
Yep, Lily started her own medicines yesterday for a low lying bladder infection & left a new culture for the Dr. as well. So, where do you keep medicine for a plastic doll? In the fridge or in the toy box?

THEN.... Jim just called me into Erika & Lily's room where he is painting...
Jim: Ang, look at Lily.
(Lily is sitting in her little butterfly chair w/ a bouncy, springy set of bug antennas on her head (carefully navigated around her ponytail & big white bow) all the jewelry she could manage out of her little jewelry box & a "lump" under her shirt (which was pulled down normally over the lump), while she was reading herself a book - with both hands....)
Lily: What?!
Me: What are you doing? (I already knew...)
Lily: I'm nursing my baby.
Jim: Yeah... I just turned around & said, "Lily - what are you doing?" & she said, "I'm nursing my baby! Why? It's not creepy - I am only 5!"
Jim's reply: "Lily, trust me - that makes it even MORE creepy!"

Lily: (With a toy dog carrier suitcase under her arm) just RAN past the office & yelled, "Mom, I am going to San Francisco with Kolby (Martin)- he's my husband - Erika is babysitting my babies! I'll bring you a present!"

Have a safe trip, my creepy, entertaining, little 5 year old. You will certainly be missed! :)

My Little Boy is THREE!

Our little man, who was our family's BIGGEST shocker & surprise (since I never found out the sexes of my babies until they were delivered) turned 3! I still remember (hard at my Alzheimer's age, I know) when Dr. Nelson held him up spread eagle (as he had peeked months earlier & KNEW what we were having & messed w/ our heads several times by slipping "her") & Jim looked at the 'manhood' & said "a BOY?" The Dr. just looked at him, smiled & confirmed... then, Jim yelled, "IT'S A BOY!!!" My sister Teresa who was waiting down the hallway & through a couple of sets of double doors heard the news!

This little dude has been such a blessing to our family. He & Lily have added such a fun direction to this family. We are blessed to even have the children we have & were told we wouldn't. Then, to think we were done after Erika (10) - these two have proven several things to us: 1. The Lord really is in charge. 2. The Lord LOVES to mess with the Miller's. 3. Old people really can raise little ones! Sort of... don't ask me to run... just kidding. :)

But, this kid's sense of humor is off the charts as much as his height! He has started referring to everyone in the 'possessive' form: "My Mommy, Look!" , "Hey, My Daddy, can I drive my Gator?" , "Please bless My Alyssa & My Brynne..." etc.... "My Mommy! My Lily is not being nice to me - and that is RUDE!" etc... He is totally into motorcycles, swords, all the 'no-no's' that I have tried to spare us all from.... drives his Gator like a professional (astounds us), is more rough & tumble than most. He takes a hard fall, gets up laughing (usually) & says, "I'm okay!" He has more common sense than most (yes, Jim - listen to your son.... :) & yet, can play mommy & baby with Lily like no other. Granted, sometimes the baby ends up in a horrible "accident" - no fault of Brock's, I'm sure.

All crazy, whacko, silliness aside - this little boy brings us SO much joy & laughter. I just want to keep him little forever! We love you Brock!

Maybe, It Is HOW We Pray.... ?

Seriously.... when everyone teases our family about the 'weirdness' that happens to us, we get SO tired of it! So, after bringing Brynne home from a 4 day hospital stay on December 23rd, we were thrilled to get home & finish out a 'normal' (who's normal I wonder?) Christmas Break. THEN..... I (yes, me!) woke up with the worst sore throat of my life on the Saturday after Christmas! NO BREAK! Are you kidding me?!!

By that night, I was at 103.6 in the fever world. My joints aching so bad, I was literally in tears. I went to bed immediately. The next day I was worse off, so Jim took me to Urgent Care (yes, on Sunday) & was given antibiotics "because I had a virus" - huh? Then, was sent to the hospital for some testing. Desperate, I started the meds, got worse. It scared me how fast I went downhill. I've never had anything like whatever was hitting me. I stayed in bed all day Monday. Tuesday went back to the Urgent Care doctor for a 'follow-up'. He did a ton of blood work & told me to come back in the afternoon for a shot of Torador for pain (as I had taken too much Tylenol & Ibuprofen - so, he couldn't give me a shot until the other had worn off). I knew I wasn't going back to him.... I am not one to mask the pain, I want to get to the CAUSE.

So, I took Brynne up to her ENT surgeon for her post-tonsillectomy exam. She passed with flying colors! Then, they took a look at me.... a large, tonsilar abscess looking thing in my throat (I haven't had tonsils for 25+ years!), still fevering & couldn't hardly swallow a sip of water. They gave me a shot of strong antibiotics in my hip, wrote me an Rx for bacterial based antibiotics & pain meds. Sent me down for more blood work & home to bed.

By that night, I was in such excruciating pain - I knew something was terribly wrong. I get migraines every once in a while - I know what they feel like. This was excruciating pain on the right side, back of my neck & right side of my head. I felt like I couldn't breathe through my thoat & flank & abdominal pain like a cherry on top. Jim called the ENT who saw me & they said to head to the ER. Of course, that is ALWAYS the answer for the Miller family & their deductible that was just reset 1/1/2009! So, naturally, hoping for new medical debt - Off we went.

The ER doctors evaluated me & said that they were going to treat me for bacterial meningitis whether they did the spinal puncture or not. Jim said to spare me the spinal puncture pain if they were going to treat it regardless. I've got to say, I remember being terrified at this point. And the flow of multiple antibiotics, massive steroids & pain meds began through my IV. My fever finally broke about 2am & I was admitted to the hospital. I couldn't sleep - thanks to the steroids, but by noon the next day, I felt like a different person! I don't remember too much clearly but at this point: But, no fever & I felt like I could breathe out of my mouth - but, felt like someone had poured acid down my throat! The abscess had ruptured sometime during the night & during all the meds. The ENT came in around noon, scoped me & said my throat was still quite swollen - but the abscess was indeed gone. (Seriously! Who gets a "tonsilar abscess when they don't have tonsils!!! Oh yeah, a MILLER!) I rested all day & as the evening set in, I insisted to be able to get home before 2009. The nurse suggested I stay & continue resting & getting the IV meds. I just was freaking out at the thought of & the sign of "bad luck" starting the New Year in a hospital bed! The nurses & Dr. told me if I could take the meds by mouth, they would let me go. Not the best decision I have made... hasty & not well thought out. (Granted, I was on drugs! Why didn't anyone speak the voice of reason on my behalf?)

I did start the New Year at home - in bed. I went to my follow-up on Monday 1/5 & the ENT sent me down to the Urgent Care below his office for another IV & more IV Steroids & scans of my kidneys, gallbladder, etc.... After 5 hours there - Aaarrghhh! - I went home to bed, again. With the Urgent Care Dr. saying, "you have so many meds working in you - I think they are masking something & we won't know until they get out of your system..."

Needless to say, this is just dragging on (back on MORE steroids) & I will have one good day & a couple of bad days... have a daily headache, which was a wicked, wicked migraine yesterday that kept me down ALL DAY. Today, just feeling the 'bruise' all over my head. I just hung up w/ the ENT's office who was calling for an update. We'll see what is next.

I am beginning to feel that we are praying wrong. Daily, we pray for health - maybe we ought to specify WHICH KIND of health? Improved health vs. declining health? Maybe we are totally to blame on this one & the Lord is just giggling as he tests our quiet contemplations.....