Maybe, It Is HOW We Pray.... ?

Seriously.... when everyone teases our family about the 'weirdness' that happens to us, we get SO tired of it! So, after bringing Brynne home from a 4 day hospital stay on December 23rd, we were thrilled to get home & finish out a 'normal' (who's normal I wonder?) Christmas Break. THEN..... I (yes, me!) woke up with the worst sore throat of my life on the Saturday after Christmas! NO BREAK! Are you kidding me?!!

By that night, I was at 103.6 in the fever world. My joints aching so bad, I was literally in tears. I went to bed immediately. The next day I was worse off, so Jim took me to Urgent Care (yes, on Sunday) & was given antibiotics "because I had a virus" - huh? Then, was sent to the hospital for some testing. Desperate, I started the meds, got worse. It scared me how fast I went downhill. I've never had anything like whatever was hitting me. I stayed in bed all day Monday. Tuesday went back to the Urgent Care doctor for a 'follow-up'. He did a ton of blood work & told me to come back in the afternoon for a shot of Torador for pain (as I had taken too much Tylenol & Ibuprofen - so, he couldn't give me a shot until the other had worn off). I knew I wasn't going back to him.... I am not one to mask the pain, I want to get to the CAUSE.

So, I took Brynne up to her ENT surgeon for her post-tonsillectomy exam. She passed with flying colors! Then, they took a look at me.... a large, tonsilar abscess looking thing in my throat (I haven't had tonsils for 25+ years!), still fevering & couldn't hardly swallow a sip of water. They gave me a shot of strong antibiotics in my hip, wrote me an Rx for bacterial based antibiotics & pain meds. Sent me down for more blood work & home to bed.

By that night, I was in such excruciating pain - I knew something was terribly wrong. I get migraines every once in a while - I know what they feel like. This was excruciating pain on the right side, back of my neck & right side of my head. I felt like I couldn't breathe through my thoat & flank & abdominal pain like a cherry on top. Jim called the ENT who saw me & they said to head to the ER. Of course, that is ALWAYS the answer for the Miller family & their deductible that was just reset 1/1/2009! So, naturally, hoping for new medical debt - Off we went.

The ER doctors evaluated me & said that they were going to treat me for bacterial meningitis whether they did the spinal puncture or not. Jim said to spare me the spinal puncture pain if they were going to treat it regardless. I've got to say, I remember being terrified at this point. And the flow of multiple antibiotics, massive steroids & pain meds began through my IV. My fever finally broke about 2am & I was admitted to the hospital. I couldn't sleep - thanks to the steroids, but by noon the next day, I felt like a different person! I don't remember too much clearly but at this point: But, no fever & I felt like I could breathe out of my mouth - but, felt like someone had poured acid down my throat! The abscess had ruptured sometime during the night & during all the meds. The ENT came in around noon, scoped me & said my throat was still quite swollen - but the abscess was indeed gone. (Seriously! Who gets a "tonsilar abscess when they don't have tonsils!!! Oh yeah, a MILLER!) I rested all day & as the evening set in, I insisted to be able to get home before 2009. The nurse suggested I stay & continue resting & getting the IV meds. I just was freaking out at the thought of & the sign of "bad luck" starting the New Year in a hospital bed! The nurses & Dr. told me if I could take the meds by mouth, they would let me go. Not the best decision I have made... hasty & not well thought out. (Granted, I was on drugs! Why didn't anyone speak the voice of reason on my behalf?)

I did start the New Year at home - in bed. I went to my follow-up on Monday 1/5 & the ENT sent me down to the Urgent Care below his office for another IV & more IV Steroids & scans of my kidneys, gallbladder, etc.... After 5 hours there - Aaarrghhh! - I went home to bed, again. With the Urgent Care Dr. saying, "you have so many meds working in you - I think they are masking something & we won't know until they get out of your system..."

Needless to say, this is just dragging on (back on MORE steroids) & I will have one good day & a couple of bad days... have a daily headache, which was a wicked, wicked migraine yesterday that kept me down ALL DAY. Today, just feeling the 'bruise' all over my head. I just hung up w/ the ENT's office who was calling for an update. We'll see what is next.

I am beginning to feel that we are praying wrong. Daily, we pray for health - maybe we ought to specify WHICH KIND of health? Improved health vs. declining health? Maybe we are totally to blame on this one & the Lord is just giggling as he tests our quiet contemplations.....